first, i want to blog about soccer with churchies against mount carmel on saturday. manz, it was insane, in more ways than one. okay so i was expecting a sort of tiny pitch, given the venue of lianhua PRIMARY school?! but surprisingly, was sorta decent sized eh. well then, what else.. oh, the weather certainly was the most INSANE of all. like, totally whacked. i see from paul's post it was 35 degrees Celsius?! (haha pauly, i remembered to quote you this time, no more plagiarism!) yeah so uhmm, i'm not trying to be a wuss here, but seriously. can die =.= and uh, throughout the whole match, "eh gareth, relax ah!", "wah gareth, calm down abit leh", and uncle david "whoa gareth, playing with a lot of blood ah!" and the ref "there's too much pushing and foul play from you, next time, i'm not going to be so kind ah" LOLSZ =X haha, so fun what, what to do! but eh, i'm honestly so damn unfit, urghh. how to do army like that =/ and i messed up my left calf -.-but it was good. i had fun!

unfortunately, it's just these few slivers of time, these rare morsels of freedom when i can really let loose and heck care about all my work and forget everything. i realize most of the time, most of my LIFE, at least some part of my mind is occupied by work, like it's definitely bugging me, more or less. it's honestly very draining and frankly, irritating. i remember some time back, after the TOK oral presentation, my friend told me, "okay since TOK OP's over, today, i'm going to reward myself and chill for one day. I SHALL DO NOTHING TODAY!" okay, so it's come down to this hasn't it. a life in which taking a break doesn't mean going out with friends to town to chill, doesn't mean going to the movies, doesn't mean sitting and chilling at starbucks or coffee bean, doesn't mean talking about things we're dying to talk about. rather, relaxing after completion of a major piece of work is now reduced to simply doing nothing, because being able to do nothing is a real blessing in this ridiculously hectic hell-hole. what a piece of ____.

and now, even as i sit here typing this, i'm feeling so overwhelmed by all the stuff i need to do. (no, i'm not going to even bother typing out a list here, as seems to be the trend) basically, it's just crazy, and it's so absurd and farcical i don't even really feel the urge or the need to rush to do my work anymore. it's like, what's the point, what difference will it make anyway. so if you see me slacking around, joking around, seemingly without a care in the world, you would do well to note that it's not because i've suddenly managed to clear up all my stuff, it's because i really don't know anymore.

i don't know how to conclude this post properly, so i'll just say goodnight.
ciao.