"as i close my eyes, sit back while reminiscing" -

i can't help but increasingly feel the strain of constantly toiling away at work. i don't if it's IB, or it's singapore, or if it's just me. but whatever the case, i certainly find it quite disconcerting that here i am, during holy week, working my a** off on geog IA, EE, world lit, and to top it all off, TOK OP next monday, ON MY BIRTHDAY -.-

i mean, it's really not like that big a deal, working like crazy during holy week, i mean, it's not like some significant serious stuff, where the sky will rumble in protest and lightning will strike your papers/laptop and burn it up and stuff, but i just find it very, poignant. it's sort of like caused me to reflect on work, life, kind of stuff, how this crazy life of toiling away is taking such a toll on me. i am reminded of how in the midst of all this, i've been putting aside so many other interests and pursuits and commitments, just for the mad rush of trying to stay on top of my work. of course, since it's holy week, i am reminded of the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship with God even through all this nonsense, but this has also served to remind me of so much other stuff that has been unceremoniously dumped by the wayside, rudely displaced by work. i fondly recall those hour-plus conversations with friends, both on the phone and in person. i remember days when we would randomly hang after school, either outside or even within the school. i remember when we would chill in class after school, playing the guitar/singing/doing all sorts of retarded stuff. or perhaps play soccer and get all sweaty and gross, either after school, or even during breaks.

fast forward to year 6, IBDP 2. good gracious, great gollywogs, what has become of life! relaxing heart to heart conversations have been close to non-existent, not because of cooling of friendships, but because of a lack of time, to even just TALK. sharing of cares, fears, joys, even gossip, are replaced by rushed, hasty updates and complaints about work. "okay okay enough, need to go do work already ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, bye"

chilling after school is now a prized luxury that occurs as often as ____ (sorry, can't find an analogy, but ah well, you get the point). immediately after the bell, "okay, lemme make a list of what i'm going to do when i get home. 1.world lit 2.geog IA 3.EE 4.bio prac, okay tyvm bye bye!!!" (rushes off to get home to start tackling the list)

oh and breaks, what breaks eh? they're simply breaks from lessons, not breaks as in real BREAKS, when you rest. you see, they're now used to rush to complete work to be handed in later in the day =/

ah, okay back to TOK folks. what a great life, i know!