first of all, i would like to place on record my heartfelt and heartiest congratulations to liverpool for finally putting an end to that 86-match unbeaten run chelsea have sustained at stamford bridge for four years and eight months. =) i'd bet at least half the world is in a mood of joyous celebration right now.

anyway.

looking back at the recently-concluded school year, i think i can say i'm thankful for the myriad of stunning experiences i've been through. naturally, i think 5.16 '08 have played a significant part in this astonishing escapade. now, i'm not about to openly declare my 'intense' or 'unconditional' love for my class with the usual stuff like 'you guys are the best', or 'love you guys forever, muacks', or 'you guys are da bomb, rock on man!' get the idea? beacuse i feel these oft-spotted lines are too, how to say, 'commercialized', and appear to lack sincerity and true emotion. truth is, i think it is really quite impossible for anyone to really feel that way about every single classmate =/

i think a more realistic and balanced approach would be to say that it has been a fulfilling and enriching year with my class. now, i must say i'm really glad that my classmates are who they are. honest. yes, it's not realistic to 'love each and every one of you darlings with all my heart and soul <3<3<3', but really, i honestly appreciate being placed in the same class as these dudes and dudettes. important thing is, although we may not all share similar interests, or enjoy the same music, or get the same jokes, or view issues the same way, i think we have this mutual acceptance and appreciation for one another, and we get along very splendidly indeed. and in my opinion, this is really respectable. this is what i really like and appreciate about this class. this harmony, this understanding, and this maturity to look beyond the surface value, despite all the differences at first glance. to attempt to use an analogy, perhaps it's like, furniture, paints and accessories of different shapes, sizes and colours. now, when you put them all together, either you get a messy mishmash of misfits, making the home look cluttered and an eyesore, or the uniqueness of each individual quality shines through and contributes to the overall diversity and vibrance of the home, giving it a brilliant and psychedelic effect. much like this home featured in the straits times on saturday.

so. this is what i feel about my class. looks rather pretty, no?

i remember at the start, so many strange faces, weird-looking people. (myself included lol ><) it was difficult to interact and communicate. then, after some time, i guess it thawed naturally, then WOW certainly spurred the thawing process on, and it certainly was an eventful experience. not necessarily always enjoyable and fun sort of stuff, but rather, it was the sort of, rich experience sort of thing. so basically, over time, i guess it got better and better, and barriers broke down. sure, cliques will always exist, but i think what's important is how people from different 'cliques' behave towards each other. get it? like, there will always be separate countries, the world won't suddenly become ruled by one government. however, some countries are at war with each other, while others sign peace treaties and free-trade agreements and all that stuff. i think point 16 has the latter situation going on, and i'm really glad about that. this is what i really love about this class.

well then. what a year it's been at school. try to have a good break! (though it's hard with eetokcasia &^&%$%^&*(*&^%$#@!#$%^&*()*&^%$@!@#$%^&.................)=D peace!

i feel like i've been trudging through the past few days in a dazed blur. since the moment i put my pen down that day after the math paper, i've been lolling around lazily and aimlessly. maybe not aimlessly. but certainly lazily. there's just no mood to get anything concrete done, to do things that would really benefit and improve my life, both in the short run and long run. actually, it's a weird sort of feeling. it's like, there's so many things i want to do, so many new things i want to try out. i want to be adventurous, to push and expand my boundaries. but, i feel like it's so difficult to get things going, to start doing something for my life. maybe it's just inertia.

so many things have come and gone during this time. and now, looking back, it really feels very, don't know how to say, like, just passed by in a flash, without me really knowing, or experiencing it. cliched as it sounds, i really feel like i've just been floating along, drifting aimlessly the past few days. i've been existing in this post-exam period, certainly not living in it. i'm not sure why i'm feeling this way. perhaps it's due to the prolonged periods of boredom i've been subjected to in school, making it feel as though nothing's been happening.

but then, upon deeper consideration, i certainly don't think it's fair or accurate to say nothing's been happening. in fact, although there've been 'empty spaces' in school, i think it hasn't actually been NOTHING. i feel that through hanging out (in school) with friends, and chatting aimlessly during those 'empty spaces', i've got to know them better, and forged stronger bonds with them. i think, all too often, we are so terribly caught up with our own work and our lives that we overlook the importance and simple pleasure of just sitting down to have a light chat and share our thoughts and views of mundane happenings and events. i get so busy with the astounding myriad of mugging, IAs, TOK essay and presentation, EE preparation, CCA etc etc etc, that i have no chance to just chill, man. and even when i take a rare breather, most times it's stuff like, someone's birthday party, or some OG or class outing, some 'cool, socializing party' kind of thing, where i feel the immense societal pressure to be cool, to impress, to always look good and debonair, to constantly exude an air of confidence, to live up to what society and convention expect of me, and to top it all off, to pretend to be fully at ease and comfortable with all of this, as though this is me. but i'm sorry, no it's not. it's not natural. i'm not letting myself, my identity show through, and why? is it because i am not at ease with myself? is it because i feel that 'myself' is not in line with what society deems to be desirable? am i not proud of myself?

which is why i think i can say that although it was uneventful at times, i am appreciative of this freer post-exam period when i can take some time to just kick back, and have simple, innocent chats with friends, away from the glare of modern-day lights. i am thankful for the chance and the time for me to share and air my thoughts, concerns and annoyances, with people who listen and share some of my views, giving their views in return. i am grateful for the chance to retreat into our own world, where we can candidly share and care for one another.

"We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no one else goes
What am I doing without you?"

i can't believe it. the past few days have been almost like pre-exam mode. rushing to finish the retarded cas, suffering the trauma of receiving the results, then even more trauma going through the papers, preparing for IB chinese exam, lao shi emoing in class as always (what the), rushing to do THREE bio IAs (what the). honestly i'm getting effing pi**ed with the pace of life. ok call me slow, whatever.

but today was a slight improvement, somehow. just didn't feel so bad today. which is probably surprising, given that i discovered some powdery, ashy, black substance (horrors) at the side of my chicken baked rice at swensen's. but i'm really quite pleased that i'm not the sort who freaks out and yells and demands a refund kinda stuff. =D well anyway. they told me it's some thingy from the oven whatever shizzz, not sure what they were talking about. somehow, for some reason, the replacement didn't seem to taste as good as whatever i had eaten of the tainted one. so well (shudders...)

anyway, as i was leaving the place, that famous old classic love song 'All Out Of Love' was playing. then, just like, 5m away, i walked past some shop, and it was playing that song too. KEW-WUUL. amazing lovely sweet song, glad people are realizing that =)

wow, today the rain was &^&(*)*&%^$%#% TORRENTIAL. the road, goodness. something like, 20-25cm of water perhaps? ok, it's not THAT terribly much, but hey this is singapore in 2008 y'know, not like, 1960 or something.

well, the week ahead's the last week of school. of the offical school term, that is. (focus camp, shizzz) just hope i spend it well, make the most of it, and well, enter the 'holidays' (yes, with inverted commas) in good spirits!

so today, we had this SAT prep sort of thingy. and i tell you, i certainly do NOT wish to be subjected to this sort of ill-treatment any time soon. now, i've got no idea how to adequately express the ____ experience of this thing. goodness gracious me, have the setters of SAT ever attempted to do the effing paper themselves??!!

ok basically, it was like, about 3 or 4 hours of being cooped up in that sub zero LT, with a ridiculously long test as company. even though at first glance, it may seem easy peasy because it's primarily mcq, i tell you. first, the sheer length of the entire test really makes it feel like a marathon of the mind. and the questions, damn it. now the strange thing is that, it's not as if the questions are exceedingly difficult or impossible to do. it's just that somehow, for some reason, they are just exceedingly tiresome to do. i guess it's the monotony of the whole thing. question after seemingly stupid question pops up at you as you stumble through the maze of mind-numbing academia. and, ok i'm not sure exactly what the SAT wants to test you on, but the way i see it, it's sort of limited in scope and like, irrelevant?? i mean, let's say you're planning to take up something like, say, ecological studies in university. now i don't see how that crazy SAT is gonna be a useful gauge for entry. it covers only math (and only a few areas at that), and english. and i don't think the english tested there is the sort that will be widely used in daily life. i mean, how many people spam words like, vituperative, enervated, torpid, sedulous etc etc in their daily life??!

and, i think there's something seriously wrong with the ergonomics of the seats in the LT. the tiny foldable tables are just, wrong. =( i emerged from the LT with a frizzled, shizzled brain and a cracking backache. =X

and, work's piling up. again. suddenly, joogal returns 2 pracs and some shizz's gotta be done about them. blearghhhhhhhh, feeling sick thinking about it.

ciao.

now, i rarely experience feelings of intense, jolting fear while walking down singapore sidewalks, but boy, this one must take the cake i tell you.

so today, i was merrily strolling along thinking about erm, (my memory fails me). but no matter. as i nonchalantly approached some corner somewhere, i spotted this guy walking in the opposite direction. now i'm not one to criticize the appearance of some random fellow human being i meet on the street, but the way those eyes stared out from those sunken sockets was really sort of creepy? but that's not all. so my eyes diverted down, and in his hands was a, goodness gracious me, of all things, a COCONUT??!

now reading about this in words on a screen isn't going to bring out the incident in its full glory, and i've got no idea how to vividly relive it here. but just imagine. you're walking down the street, and suddenly you come across this odd/weird/creepy/freaky/scary-looking dude with...a COCONUT. and guess what, that's not all. now as i gingerly passed him, he sort of turned towards me, and goodness, his facial expression changed to an expression i've got absolutely no idea how to describe. and. he raised his hand. erm, yes, the hand holding the heavy, hard coconut. if i remember correctly, i sort of cringed momentarily, half-expecting to feel the blasted coconut crash down on me. well thank goodness it remained in his hand, and i most certainly didn't hang around to see just what in the world he was trying to do, instead hurrying past in a flash.

and, i just realized raspberries have hair on them. ok, wow. what a stunning revelation we've got there.

peace, guys!

i think dreams are really fascinating phenomena. and by the way, i'm referring to the type which occur when you're asleep, not when you're awake during some random boring lesson.

i think it's so cool that you can get transported to a whole new world, a different realm, where you can experience a wide-ranging myriad of thoughts, emotions and actions without suffering any possible ill-effects. it's like, for the duration of the dream, you can be someone else, living in a totally different world, doing things you would never ever do in the 'real' world. it's like, you can change your identity!

and guess what. i actually get to learn new words in my dreams! i remember not too long ago, i heard someone saying some #$%^&*(&% word in my dream, and when i wake up and look it up in the dictionary, lo and behold!

of course there are those ridiculous dreams which don't appear to make any sense at all. for instance, i've dreamt about people randomly spamming my blog with some gibberish commments that to this day i can't figure out, and more recently, i dreamt about myself mugging for a chemistry test. now bearing in mind that i left dreaded chemistry behind for good last year, well, i can't figure out just why in the world i'm actually dreaming about CHEMISTRY??!!

oh and there are those dreams which you can actively interact with. apparently these are known as lucid dreams. my word! these are way cool! it's like, you're aware that you're dreaming, but you go on dreaming all the same. and you can interact with the characters and control your actions.

and i recently read somewhere, Mind Your Body i think?? that you can like, train and program your mind to control your dreams, and like, control what you dream about. now how cool is that man...

intriguing... ok people. sweet dreams!

yay i love this post-exam feeling. i mean, ok i know there's still loads of stuff to do, and loads of stuff i ought to have done, but i really love this 'no pressure' kinda feeling. it really feels great to not have pressurizing papers to prepare for, and not having to constantly worry about not remembering syllabus content etc etc...

exams periods always pass by with me in a semi-conscious state. i feel cut off from the rest of the world, drowning in the suffocating sea of academia. really no time, even no mood to relax and have fun. i really don't know how to adequately describe it, it's just a really horrid sensation.

well i realize a very common theme amongst jc 1 level students now is boredom. that, and a feeling of dread waiting for the results to be announced. well, today i went to school to work on that &^$#$%^&*(&$#@$%^&** tok presentation. yes yes, TOK PRESENTATION BELIEVE IT OR NOT!! it's really quite retarded i must say. i really do not feel like going through all the painful details about how i took so long to get a SUITABLE topic, and then how doing the slides was such a pain in the _____, and at the end of it all, FAIL. so here i am, spending my post exams working on TOK -.-

well, i'm glad to have finally come into contact with a soccer ball again. and, along with that, i realized that my current fitness level is like ^%$*&**&%#%$^& like, if i were to take a beep test now, i would probably reach like, level 0.5??!! anyway, i had quite an enjoyable kickaround, and i must say i'm REASONABLY pleased with my long range shots. seems quite satisfactory to me i must say, after like, a gazillion years out of action....

well then. see you guys around, anywhere.

year end exams over. and along with that, a lot more over too i tell you. like, the hope of ever doing well? ok, enough said.

the past few weeks have really flown past in a terrible maddening blur. mad rush for everything. i can't even like pinpoint exactly what i've been busy with, or why i get this feeling of RUSH, like i'm living in a whirlwind, some Hurricane Katrina or something. i really don't get it. just been feeling that my schedule's been ultra packed, leaving me with no room to breathe. i guess it's just the spectre of exams. when you're preparing for exams, everything gets blown up and magnified, and every tiny bit of syllabus content you don't understand becomes a greater-than-usual cause for concern.

and i really hate the timing of the F1 thingy. i mean, i'm not like some huge F1 fanatic or what, but i mean, you know, when there's so much hype and all, of course it's natural to feel excited about it. and it HAD to occur during this exam period, making it impossible to experience it properly. well, i'm glad about the way it turned out anyway. hamilton FTW! still trying to figure out how alonso won ><

i guess adding to this whirlwind effect would be, erm, my grandfather_____...it certainly added a lot more buzz and hustle and bustle to this crazy period.

well well well then, dreaded results coming up. and not forgetting that chinese ib exam in november.