the other day, while looking through my old messages, the concept of change suddenly came upon me and overwhelmed me. okay, maybe not overwhelmed, but still, made me think. or rather, made me think harder than i usually do. which isn't really saying much actually >< but oh wellsz. ANYWAYS.

so it just occurred to me that, clichéd as it may sound, people really do change. this change may be outwardly expressed, or it may not be. it may be obvious, or perhaps not so obvious. but nevertheless, it's still change. and i suddenly found it quite scary actually, when someone you've known for some time is no longer the person you knew. okay, perhaps this is overstating it. hyperbole. as in, it's not like the person is completely unrecognizable, it's not like this person behaves so differently, treats you differently, and so on. it's just that, when someone has assumed new identities, new roles in life, done things which you know have irreversibly changed his/her life, it's sorta scary, in a sense. it's like, you know he/she will never be the same person, ever again. i mean, even if the change is not outwardly expressed or obvious, you know he/she has permanently left behind a part of him/her, and is now permanently a different person, for better or for worse. and sometimes, you just don't want to let go. you don't want to let go of the person you knew. you don't want to let go of how this person used to be. i don't understand this desire to cling to the past, but somehow, it just feels uncomfortable leaving it all behind, and moving on in life, seeing the person do different things and behaving differently, even if only slightly differently, and above all, coming to terms with and accepting this person in his/her new self.

it gets a little nostalgic, thinking about the past, thinking about this person in his/her old self, thinking about the times, words, and thoughts shared with this person in his/her old self. and when you fast forward and look at this same person in the present, you get a little sad that it's just different now, that the past is all over now.