"Show me how to do like you
Show me how to do it"

recently, i spotted this on shoban's blog. "Humans are full of flaws, the amoeba is one of the most perfect organisms"- Paul Cheong

i think paul cheong has made a wonderfully excellent observation. initially, it appears to be one of those type of "you guys will fail", or "you all are going to die" sort of comment that he is known for, but upon further consideration, i feel it certainly is very true, and it's really cool to think about it this way.

just think, there are literally a million things that could go wrong with the human body. there's an entire galaxy of ailments out there, from the minor cold which the whole world seems to be having right now, right through to the serious stuff like heart diseases and cancer and renal failure and stuff. and although we hardly look at it this way, don't all these illnesses arise at least partly due to the complexity of the human body? simply because if there are more parts, there is a greater chance of something going wrong!

now just look at the pathetic-looking amoeba. it consists of a grand total of ONE measly cell. now just how much can go wrong there?? isn't life a lot less complicated and free of worries for the amoeba? no such thing as organ failure or brain damage or lung cancer or WHATEVER!

i think this minimalist sort of concept certainly can be observed in our lives. even in technology. y'see, do you realize when some cellphone bug arrives, it's always those smart phones that get affected first? they just have too many functions for the bug to enter, and it's hard to protect every aspect of the phone. and when some wretched computer bug arrives, it's always those with the latest, most high tech operating systems and most sophisticated applications that get hit the worst. same concept!

so i think, humans are already complicated enough. let's not make life even more complicated for ourselves by indulging in scandalous and sneaky behaviour. let us do what we ought to do, and stay away from vice and immorality. let us learn from the amoeba!

perhaps today served as another reminder to me that i must learn to stop overreacting to things, according to how i feel on the spur of the moment. that it is oh so crucial to be able to be calm and unflappable, take things on board and think through them carefully and cogently.

and what makes it even more sucky is that once you get into that horrid mood, it's very difficult and stressful to emerge from it, and it's really annoying to have to deal with so many mixed-up emotions within.

chinese new year festivities seem to be hotting up everywhere, everyone's getting the vibes. and in the midst of all these celebrations, something that really flummoxes me is why chinese new year always seems to be a much more greatly anticipated and celebrated event than the new year, as in 1 january. just look at the scale of it all, 2 days of public holiday, as compared to just 1 january, so much more pomp about it, with all the traditional visiting and reunions and red packets and all. now just why, is chinese new year always such a much bigger event than the new year? y'see, it's celebrated only by the chinese people. yes, okay they make a huge proportion of singaporeans, but the 'real' new year is celebrated by even more people! it's celebrated WORLDWIDE! it's a global, and (almost) synchronized event, while the chinese new year is celebrated only by like, china, singapore, and little pockets of chinese in the chinatowns of various countries? so i don't really understand why the festivities of chinese new year always exceed that of the 'real' new year.

ah well anyway. i don't care if cny is extended to like, a month if the accompanying holidays are extended too =D

okay, i think my health has just taken yet another turn for the worse. began to feel kind of feverish today, thanks for generously sharing your bug yt! so now, my body is ravaged by all sorts of illnesses you can think of, with loads of phlegm making my throat more congested than jakarta's roads, nose flowing faster than the niagara. and now, the head's experiencing these weird throbbing sensations. -.-

and now that paul's mentioned it, indeed, loads of people are falling sick. like, not the temporary illness you get when there's a deadline, but real, solid bugs that strike you down and keep you pinned there. i'm honestly half-suspecting there's some serious sort of vicious virus making the rounds out there =/

i realize there's this insane block of 1hr 40min mega lesson right at the start of most days. now this really sucks. real bad. what a way to start the day. and this reminds me of that ginormous super duper 2hr 20min econs lesson last year. seriously. if only lessons were no longer than 40 min.

funny thing is, for some reason, i'm finding it easier to keep awake during lessons as compared to last year. not that it's a complete breeze, but just, easier. well i hope it holds up.

oh and obama's inauguration was magnificent! splendid, that man. wishing him all the best! now what i don't understand is why there's this widespread hatred or disapproval of bush. i mean, okay he did leave behind unfinished wars and a crippled economy, perhaps things could have been better, but personally i feel he did a decent job overall. i'm no politics or world issues expert, and i can't exactly pinpoint any outstanding, remarkable achievements, but i just feel he's always put his country first and he's genuinely worked hard for his country. decent, humble servant, and deserves more recognition for his endeavour and spirit.

i think today's message really impacted me, and really served to wake me up a little.

it was about loving one another, loving fellow believers, and i think this certainly is one aspect i could be more diligent in. 1 John 4:7-12 shows why it is the "plain duty" of believers to love another. i think this is significant for me, because looking back, i think i have treated my fellow believers somewhat nonchantly. as in, when i go about interacting with people, it doesn't really weigh on my mind that, oh, so and so is a Christian, etc. and because i don't look at them that way, because i see them simply as 'just another person', i cannot adequately perform my "plain duty" of loving my fellow believers.

and then pastor bernard said that "love is a defining mark of a Christian". so if i haven't been being actively aware that so and so is a believer, and hence i don't consciously love him as a fellow Christian, then doesn't this "defining mark" become a lot less prominent in me? and doesn't that mean that i am not properly displaying the presence of God in my life, and not being a good testimony for Him?

he also explained the importance of fellowshipping in small groups, which again, i felt is very relevant to me. he said that it is in our groups that we can adequately demonstrate and express this love for one another, since it is of course impossible to achieve that level of intimacy within the entire congregation.

so dear God, help us love one another because You are love, because You loved us in Christ, and because Your love is thereby seen in our love.

feeling sick. been this way since yesterday. or the day before yesterday. or rather night. or rather, when i was lying down waiting for sleep to turn to wakefulness. anyway, it sucks. but it seems to give me this gravelly voice which, as i was told, sounds nice.

2hr 20min of econs today was no joke. quite the opposite really. i think keynes is a really irritating man. or half man. multiplier and accelerator stuff is seriously a huge pain.

paddy clarke HAHAHA! now that book is some serious shiz. so now i know it's possible to win the booker prize simply by narrating random events that happen around you. like, oh i see a cat licking itself. i walked down to the jetty. the ships came in a variety of shapes, sizes and colours. the sea was calm. the skies are blue, the clouds are white, the trees are green. i walked down the beach and listened to the sound of the waves lapping against the shore. liam and aidan wanted to go home. to their mum-less home. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

but it's irish, that's cool :D

i need to be more witty, like, be able to come up with stuff on the spot.

and i think my body's really breaking down. physically and emotionally. that sounds emo. EMO. which reminds me. reason and emotion are two ways of knowing which enable to see things not as they are but as we are. so there.

when violets turn red
and roses turn blue

i'm really starting to feel that work is seriously getting in the way of forging bonds and maintaining existing ones. i just worry that in the midst of this crazy whirlwind of IB, there won't be time or energy to do anything other than work work work work and work. relationships deteriorate and health suffers. i really don't want to become so caught up in work that i lose sight of everything else. and i really don't want to lose people who are dear to me in that merciless maelstrom of EE, TOK, IAs, hardcore mugging and the like.

every day now feels like such a terrible drudgery. lessons, along with faces, simply float past and it gets really tiring. clichéd as it sounds, i want to get away from it all. but it's so impossible. it's all or nothing.

i'm feeling quite apprehensive about school this year. like, i'm worried i'll really get too stressed or too panicky about exams and stuff, and end up with some really major problems. like, this time, really really, it feels quite stressful and scary y'know.

i mean like just ONE measly miserable week has passed, and it's already so bad. it's true, assignments, IAs and the whole world is really pouring, gushing, forcing its way in. it's true, IB is some serious shiz.

i'm really kinda concerned about how i'm going to be able to deal with all this and do well. omg, no please, i don't wanna be in year 6, really. please take me back to sec 1 NOW. or better still, back to primary 1. how about kindergarten. er, how 'bout not existing at all.

of late, i have been making a conscious effort to smile more. i'm feeling quite pleased about it, because everyone has been telling me how spooky/creepy/angry/emo i look. and thinking back, indeed i think have been displaying a horrible expression, even when greeting people, or saying bye and stuff. so i told myself that i MUST smile more, so =)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)

recently, i came across this article somewhere dishing out some well-meaning advice on preparing for the new year. one piece of advice that left a deep impression on me was something to do with surrounding yourself with people who really love and care about you and making an effort to avoid people who annoy you. i know this appears very straightforward and commonsensical, but i just felt that it's something very relevant to me, and it was a good reminder to me to be constantly aware of who my true friends are, and to appreciate them even more. looking back, i feel that in the past, perhaps sometimes i would be too eager to make friends and stuff, and i feel that many times, i have perhaps been too accomodating to the whims and fancies of others, and allowed them to exert their demands on me, and subconsciously allowed them to push me around. i also subconsciously allowed their words and actions to affect me, especially emotionally. however, it is with a clearer perspective now that i realize i can't please everyone, or make everyone love me, and there is no point in me getting affected by what some people have to say about me and to me. at the end of the day, i know who are important to me, and it is not worth my time and effort worrying about people who don't really care about me and are difficult to deal with.

have a blessed 2009 all. =D

Climb every mountain,
Search high and low,
Follow every highway,
Every path you know.

Climb every mountain,
Ford every stream,
Follow every rainbow,
'Till you find your dream.

A dream that will need
All the love you can give,
Every day of your life
For as long as you live.