ahhhhhh, goodness gracious me, can't believe this could ever happen to me, but king lear is seriously engulfing my entire brain now. i just can't stop thinking about it!!!!!!!! i can't stop reciting random quotes and great titanic speeches, and this old, foolish, gravelly-voiced man keeps dominating my brain!!!! ahhh....helpppp!!! what's happening to me!

Suspend thy purpose if thou didst intend to make this creature fruitful!
Into her womb convey sterility,
Dry up in her the organs of increase,
And from her derogate body never spring a babe to honour her.
If she must teem, create her child of spleen, that it may live
And be a thwart disnatured torment to her.
Let it stamp wrinkles in her brow of youth
With cadent tears fret channels in her cheeks,
Turn all her mother's pains and benefits
To laughter and contempt
That she may feel how sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
To have a thankless child!

heh, i typed that from memory by the way, whoooooooooooooooo :D

it's insanely addictive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seeking a shimmering mirage in the inky darkness.

so i was walking along, looking at the traffic, looking at the trees, looking at the people around me...anything to try and get my mind off work. i was thinking about nice songs i'd heard, trying to sing them without having people stare at me (see what see, never see people sing song is it?!)

so anyway, as i walked under a tree, i heard a distinctive call of a crow above. my mind immediately snapped to my horrible, dreaded, downright damned MATH PORTFOLIO ><

seriously, what the. perhaps i was even expecting a nut to fall right in front of me, to fit the question better =/ it's just how work is constantly swirling around, infiltrating every pore of my body, every deepest depth of my soul. it's omnipresent, and impossible to shake away.

recently, i was online at like 3, 4am, and it really amazed me how this trend, this culture, this religion of IBers being online at unearthly hours actually sort of turned into some sort of self-deprecating humour, with all the msn personal messages like 'bonding in the wee hours', 'sleep depriviant', 'note to self: never die from a viral illness' (HL math port hahaha), 'brainfugged', 'forget the acne. math port ans?', 'this late night zombie is blardee shacked' etc etc etc...

goodness me seriously. what a health hazard, you pesky little math port/IAs/EE/TOK...

A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly, the day turned into night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
The kindness in His smile
And the boy cried out
With the trust of a child
he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all"

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small
And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All you need is my "Amen"

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
No gift is too small

=D

the weather's been swelteringly irritating. i wanted to run today but the insane ball of fire up there messed with my plans =( seriously, like 40 degrees??! plus, the heat zonked me out, so i just collapsed on the bed and became unconscious for like, erm, some time. and it's really annoying because it's not like i'm so free to just sleep the entire day away -.-

and i guess i'm feeling so intrinsically cranky about work and stuff, i felt cranky and irritable while asleep >< idk how, just somehow, even while asleep, i could feel irritated.

and today, i ate bread with margarine with COFFEE POWDER. very cool =/ just sprinkle some coffee powder on the bread and there you go. lol. was just feeling very frustrated about the chronic lack of random food lying around so i just decided to create my own random nonsense food. it's quite fun actually, just letting go of natural caution and ignoring pointless conventions and just throwing together a mish mash of whatever i can find, heck care about how it might turn out. one day i shall come up with a fantabulous culinary creation and i'll patent it hahahahaha!

cheers!

routine rant

okay here we go again.

math port, as expected, is killing me, it's cramping my brain and screwing my senses. honestly, i don't see how it serves to "develop students' personal insight into the nature of mathematics", or allows me to "experience the satisfaction of applying mathematical processes" or my favourite, "provide students with the opportunity to experience for themselves the beauty, power and usefulness of mathematics". -.- seriously what the. please.

now, i wanted to go on and tear into all the other stuff i've gotta do, but complaining about math port sickened me already. so nope. another day perhaps =/

The pursuit of perfection is the enemy of progress.

well said, well said.