here are some really reeeeeeeally amazing soccer quotes.........enjoy=D

If you are in the penalty area and you don’t know what to do with the ball, put it in the net and we’ll discuss the options later.-Bob Paisley

I’m sure sex wouldn’t be as rewarding as winning the World Cup. It’s not that sex isn’t good, but the World Cup is every four years and sex is not.-Ronaldo

There is a deep connection between tricking defenders and being a smart boy in real life.-Simon Kuper

The first 90 minutes are the most important.-Bobby Robson

If there weren’t such a thing as football, we’d all be frustrated footballers.-Mick Lyons

I’m married to football and have an affair with my wife.-Bobby Robson

The World Cup is…for the estimated two billion viewers who get up early, stay up late, cheer at the television, bay at the moon, go out and bang drums in the middle of the night because somebody scored a goal halfway around the world.-George Vescey

Five days shalt thou labour, the Bible says. The seventh day is the Lord thy God’s. The sixth day is for football.-Anthony Burgess

Play for the name on the front of your shirt and they’ll remember the name on the back.-Lionel Messi
hmm very inspirational..

and the all-time favourite...
Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I’m very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.-Bill Shankly

here's a rather belated reflection of friday's rather...unique happenings. well of course there was the national day celebrations in school, along with that ridiculous connect singapore thing. ok now i don't want to go all out and bash the thing like so many people have been doing, because i admit that the idea sounds good, and i appreciate that it's not that easy to form the shape properly. but having said that, i honestly found the thing quite fail. they showed the picture during the service and ohmygoodnessgraciousme it looked, bad. perhaps they could have arranged us standing parallel to the line instead, so the edges wouldn't be so jagged. ok never mind, whatever........

so after school, of course there was the usual going out to the movies, playing soccer, etc etc. perfect relax formula: school ends early, it's a friday, and monday's a holiday. so everyone goes out to have fun. BUT NOT ME.

i had thought about these post-school activities the previous night, and i discovered that all this 'socializing' and chilling after these so-called 'slack and pointless' days, such as cross-country, founder's day, national day etc, are really getting boring and repetitive. ok i know this may not really make much sense but on thursday night, i thought about what i would do after school the next day, and i was immediately reminded of the recent cross-country day. and i felt sick about always trying to be among the 'cool' and 'normal' crowd of going out and having fun after these type of days. i mean, it's not bad or anything, but i'm just getting sick of it. i thought about the cross-country day and how at times during the time at vivocity that day, i actually felt that the outing was completely pointless. like i was going out instead of home, just for the sake of it, just because it's the 'normal' thing to do, just because everyone else is doing so. i felt bored and i really didn't see the point of the outing at all. i wasn't even like enjoying myself or anything. i was there because of the herd mentality and the desire to avoid work. but it was so stupid. like, lunch at food republic was actually the highlight of the entire damned thing. no, there was no movie, no serious shopping, or bowling or whatever proper outing activities. just eat and walk around aimlessly trying to decide what to do, and after some time, go home. effing waste of life.

and i realize it's not just the cross-country day. similar situations have occurred many times before. same pattern. after the school event finishes, i feel slack and i get excited about the outing ahead of me, then slowly as the outing progresses, i realize it's pointless and i get bored, and i feel like i'm out here just for the sake of going out. and strangely, i don't really enjoy watching movies, so yeah there's really not much point going out because many times the others would go for a movie and i would just leave at that point. so after thinking through all this on thursday night, i decided that i would not bother looking for people to go out with the next day, and i told myself that whatever urge to go out after the event is just temporary and i would regret going out yet again.

so on friday, after the thing, i just hung around the sac awhile with friends, and yes they were going out after that. as planned, i didn't follow them. instead i just stayed in school and found some quiet place to be alone. ok i know this sounds really weird and like, why don't you just go home then? ok it's a little strange but i think, not really what. i mean basically i'm just not used to going home so early after school, so i just decided to stay in school and do some work, think about life, have some quiet tranquil time to myself. and i found it quite therapeutic actually. i think sometimes in the mad rush of life, what i really want is some time alone, to myself, when i am free to do (almost) anything i want, when i can sing/dance/talk to myself/be spastic without anyone looking and thinking what the **** is wrong with this guy. yeah so basically i just hung around with myself, had some time to myself, then i left around 6 or so. oh and i managed to do the Testing the Reality commentary during that time too...

weekends were...blahhh....normal..boring....nothing worth reflecting on...

Dear Lord,
Please help me. help me O Lord, in my faltering school work. help me to discover the joy of learning, of enriching oneself, as they always say. help me to have the urge to pick the book up and read it, and grant me the ability to understand its contents and remember it.

Lord, i also want to ask that you will help me in my dealings and relationships with the people around me. help me O Lord, to portray a good image of myself, and in the process not just glorify myself, but also you. i pray that you will help me forge positive and healthy relationships with the many people around me, and that in what i say and do, i will be a blessing to them, and make a positive impact on their lives.

i also want to pray that you will grant me a heart of forgiveness. help me to realize O Lord, that sometimes when people utter abrasive and cutting comments and pass stinging insults, along with hurtful actions, they do not really mean it, but rather, they spout rubbish on the spur of the moment, and do not realize the full extent and effects of their words and actions.

Lord, i pray that in the face of numerous difficulties and countless problems, strains and stresses, i will be strong and remain guided by your Word, remembering that any hard work i put in will count at the end of it all. i pray that in the wake of rejections and disappointments, you will grant me the strength to pick myself up and carry on, you will grant me the peace of mind that i matter to you, and that is the most important of all, even if i do not matter to anyone else.

Lord, i also want to pray for some of my friends who are facing many problems too, both work-related and otherwise. i commit their problems to you and pray that you will reconcile broken friendships, and heal hurtful and festering wounds.

and dear Lord, i want to pray that in the midst of this mad rush, i will never, ever forget to remember you, that in whatever i do, i will do it with your blessing and guidance, that as i weave my way through this mess, you will always be a bright light above, guiding me and illuminating the path ahead of me, leading me to great things, just as how you led the shepherds to the manger. Lord, may i always remember and be reassured that you are fully aware of all my worries, my problems and insecurities. help me to fully commit my fears, doubts and demons to you and trust that you will provide solace and light within the tunnel.

In Jesus' most precious and holy name,
Amen.

sickkkk...

arghh..sore throat, cough with/without phlegm, tickly throat, chronic fatigue, headache, backache....
all that with iop, ee, tok, everything else looming in the background/hanging over like a dark cloud.

sad. =(=(=(

oh and a very very belated shoutout to all the drama people... schooldaze was da bomb=) loved it yeah..

i think i need to smile more.

of late, i've been feeling very conscious of the kind of image i send out to people, through the way i dress, my facial expressions, and so on. and in my heightened state of self-awareness, i've come to realize that i do look really really unfriendly and closed when i put on my 'normal face'.

actually, come to think of it, it isn't really anything new. it's not like some stunning revelation that hits me like a bolt from the blue you know. i do vaguely remember people telling me that i look 'fierce' and that i ought to smile more.

i don't know why, but smiling just doesn't feel natural to me. i mean, it's really weird. like, even at times when i meet new people and i want to reach out to them, i realize i don't smile readily at them too. when i meet friends or acquaintances, like along the corridor or in the sac or wherever, i don't smile naturally at them too. usually, i just say a simple hi/hey/hello, or i just wave. with no hint of a smile. and the thing with being in ib, when you don't smile, you don't just look normal. all those dark rings/eyebags/'stress marks'/whatever are all naturally revealed in their full glory. they're all there for all to see. and when people see it, they think like, what's wrong with this guy, he's so unfriendly, he's just forcing that wave, that 'hi'. he's like, so freaky/creepy/emo/closed to others. problem is, i just feel so attuned to not smiling. it's not as if i have anything against smiling, or anything against those people you know. often, moments later, i think back and i realize i didn't smile yet again, and i really kick myself for it, and i worry about the horrid, turn-offish impression i've just given them.

what's really in a smile anyway, that makes me so naturally unattuned to it? damn it man, i really don't know why i just can't make myself lift the corners of that mouth. such a simple action, with so many intangible benefits, leaving so many positive impressions. and yet, it's so difficult for me.

hah. i look at this and it makes me want to laugh. what a joke. yeah right facebook. right.

i shall make a conscious effort to smile at people.

i've been feeling that amidst this mad rush commonly known as ib, i ought not to forget the MORE IMPORTANT things in life. as such, i have decided to dedicate this post to my longstanding pillar of support. =)

as i'm sure many people out there know, this existence called edward bingei is one of the GOOFIEST and COOLEST people you will probably ever meet in your life man. i mean like seriously, just look at him man. he's like, everything? yes just EVERYTHING and ANYTHING, any @#$%^&*()*&*^&$ you can think of, it's embodied in him. and and, he has those amazing edward™ theories on life and relationships that never fail to inspire me and give me renewed vigour in life :D and how about he's like SO PRO in like, er, everything? i mean, just look at his awesome guitar stuffs mans! all the drifting and all.. and his drama/centrestage! even though he might look a little spastic in those tigery stripes and swingy magic tail... oh well at least we now know he has a very elastic, slappable face!

oh and contrary to popular belief, he's likes soccer too! even though, erm, embarrassingly, the following actually took place about a month ago, right in the middle of euro 2008.
me: so do you watch euro?
ed: i dunno i dunno, all i know is man u owns!
me: ..................... (laughs uncontrollably)
ed: oh wait, euro...that's the country thing!
oh well, i guess mistakes DO occur sometimes. nobody's perfect u know

oh and and he's got this lifelong fixation with psychology i swear! always reading some deep, TOK-ish book about human behaviour/perception/thought processes etc etc etc..... (it's just as well i guess. i'll probably need to have a psychologist/psychiatrist on speed dial very soon, with all the $%&*^$% life's throwing up)

but hey on a SLIGHTLY more serious note right, thanks to this amazing human being in my life for who am i now. (ok that's not exactly a big deal , but still) ed, dude, thanks for being there when i'm feeling down, for listening to me rant/whine/yell/complain/emo, and for watching me hurl bottles/dusters/chairs/tables across the room when i really lose it. and thanks for putting up with all my randomness and spasticity. (which was influenced by you!) thanks for entertaining me and listening to me and cheering me up during those marathon conversations until your mum says your mouth berbusa already :DD thanks for EVERYTHING, for being my haven of solace!

arghh..life' s just feeling so mundane, so cyclic in nature. so many things just become so drony and uneventful. amidst all the never-ending assignments and struggles to keep up to date with lessons, i'm feeling like i'm not living, just merely existing.

i'm concerned about the difficulty in changing things which i feel are not ideal, improving areas in my life i want to improve upon and enrich. so difficult. it's not as if i don't know what i want. i have this picture of how i would like to shape my life, but somehow it just keeps going all awry. i still experience moral degradation, social deprivation and the like. i mean yes okay there are little pockets of laughter, of amusement along the way, but in the larger scheme of things, these are simply little insignificant ephemeral pleasures which hardly make an impact.

perhaps an analogy of a snowball would be most appropriate here. i am this miserable ball of snow rolling down an icy hill. the hill is rocky and bumpy, and there's no stopping the downward roll. similarly, life is rocky with the various problems faced, and there's no stopping, no turning back. life has to go on, unfortunately. so on and on i roll, constantly buffeted by the rocks and pebbles along the way, hurting me terribly. all this while, i am well in the knowledge of what will happen to me once i reach the bottom of the hill. i will smash into a gazillion pieces and become a complete wreck. and yet, i cannot stop rolling on, nearer and nearer to my doom. i am unable to control my journey towards my annihilation. it is an external force, gravity, which controls it.

i can't help but feel so much like this poor snowball. i am well aware that change is required. (even barack obama knows that). i am aware that i cannot continue on this path, this route, or i will eventually suffer. BUT, it's just SO DIFFICULT to break away from my current life, my habits which govern the way i lead this doomed life of mine. i end up going on and on along this wretched path. i feel like i'm a spectator watching my own impending demise, but unable to do anything about it.

so since i can't leave this path on my own, i guess what i need is His hand to pull me away from this doomed path to perdition. i have to follow another path. this new path is by no means easy though. the difference is that this path is upward sloping. so therein lies the difficulty. to go along this path, i have to fight against gravity, against the things which pull me down. these things which pull me down could perhaps be laziness, procrastination (which appears to be a very popular pastime) and so on. these are easy to succumb to, just as it is easy to walk down a hill and let gravity do the work. so when i successfully fight against them, i will be able to take the road less travelled, the upward sloping one. and when i reach the end of this upward sloping path, when i have run the race, when i have fought the good fight, instead of staring into the flames of eternal damnation which the downward sloping hill leads down into, i will, having followed the upward sloping path, enter up into His gates with thanksgiving, and onto streets of gold.

It's been a long and winding journey
But i'm finally here tonight
Picking up the pieces
And walking back into the light
Into the sunset of your glory
Where my heart and future lies
There's nothing like that feeling
When i look into your eyes
My dreams came true
When i found you
I found you
My miracle

Standing here before you
Feels like i've been born again
Every breath is your love
Every heartbeat speaks your name
My dreams came true
Right here in front of you
My miracle