okay, i know this is getting very repetitive and boring, every post being a complaint of some sort, but i think i can safely and confidently say the past few days have really been the worst stretch i've ever experienced in school. as far back as i can remember, even all the way from primary 1. it's like, i'm in such deep **** i don't even feel anything much anymore. it's becoming so farcical. it's just turning into a huge joke, it's ridiculous.
it's like, each day i've been dragging myself to school (on days when i do actually go to school), with my stupid geog ia and my ee hanging over my head like some bubonic plague or curse or H1N1 or the like. every day is a battle royale not just to complete those ******* pieces of ****, but also to avoid certain teachers, come up with convincing explanations and reasons for not getting stuff done, trying to make full use of my time, getting really pi**ed at how going to school sometimes really is a real waste of time but i still have to, getting worried about ioc but having no time/being unable to study for it... and the list seriously drags on and on. to a certain extent, i really miss those days in sec 1, sec 2, when we would innocently turn up at school every day and go for each and every lesson properly, on time and with the right attitude. most of all, i miss how the issue with work back then was simply a matter of disciplining yourself, telling yourself to focus for a few hours at the most, before triumphantly completing everything, leaving some time for tv, for going out, etc. now, it's really not that simple. the stuff is hard, it's no longer just a matter of focusing and perhaps mugging for a couple of hours a day. instead, it's a painful, arduous, drawn-out process that really saps you to the core, facing major difficulties in not just the subject content, but also the various ******* pieces of coursework, most of all, the ias and that small matter of 4000 words. yes, i know all these should be sort of over by now, but no i'm sorry, it's not for me. and that just serves to make it even worse. most of the time, school becomes a relative waste of time, cuz there's just so much work to do, to be submitted, i just want to get going and do it. not running around the whole day, rushing from lesson to lesson, and not being able to focus on the lesson anyway cuz my entire mind and soul is occupied by the stuff i've to do. and even worse, wasting my time at dialogues and other activities such as random talks and stuff like national day celebrations which are admittedly not useless, but really are so pointless in comparison to the grim tasks i have at hand, that they become a real waste of time.
what the **** is going on man.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
the past few days have been really tumultuous for me, and i can imagine it's going to be like that for a huge part of the rest of the year, with IOC, and of course THE BIG ONE =X
also, i feel that over the past few days, i've seen many different sides of many people, and some of the experiences certainly haven't been too pleasant. however, i feel like i've matured since, uhm, idk, some time back, and i think i notice myself being able to deal with unsavoury people and experiences better. where in the past i would dwell on things way too much, and let them overly affect me, i think i now see things in a different light, and i feel like i'm more able to accept unpleasant things as normal and part of the larger scheme of things. i think (and hope) i'm able to brush them off a lot more lightly now, and realize that many of these things really do not matter, and i should not let them bother me.
also, there are a few bad habits i need to cut out. like being such a perfectionist. sometimes, it really goes over the top and hinders my progess, and it becomes counter-productive.
i'm also noticing many pesky "growing up" habits like being affected by peer pressure, being overly concerned by how people see me and what they think of me, and trying too hard to "fit", and the like. i think if left unacknowledged and uncontrolled, these things have the potential to become really serious. so i want to watch myself.
for the lack of a better ending,
Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand, and show you that you can.
There are no boundaries,
There are no boundaries.
also, i feel that over the past few days, i've seen many different sides of many people, and some of the experiences certainly haven't been too pleasant. however, i feel like i've matured since, uhm, idk, some time back, and i think i notice myself being able to deal with unsavoury people and experiences better. where in the past i would dwell on things way too much, and let them overly affect me, i think i now see things in a different light, and i feel like i'm more able to accept unpleasant things as normal and part of the larger scheme of things. i think (and hope) i'm able to brush them off a lot more lightly now, and realize that many of these things really do not matter, and i should not let them bother me.
also, there are a few bad habits i need to cut out. like being such a perfectionist. sometimes, it really goes over the top and hinders my progess, and it becomes counter-productive.
i'm also noticing many pesky "growing up" habits like being affected by peer pressure, being overly concerned by how people see me and what they think of me, and trying too hard to "fit", and the like. i think if left unacknowledged and uncontrolled, these things have the potential to become really serious. so i want to watch myself.
for the lack of a better ending,
Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand, and show you that you can.
There are no boundaries,
There are no boundaries.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
apparently this term is supposed to be freer, with all the IAs, EE, TOK........gone. but mann, no way man.
that geog IA is honestly ______. it's turning into such a farce, i'm becoming numb to all the repeated reminders to submit. EE too. blah. and there's just so many irritating details required to take note of when trying to do up my CAS file.
oh. and then there's the small issue of results. hah, i'm sorry, i really don't know what to say or make of it really. i'm not even gonna bother to sound angry or sad or emo or anything 'cuz it's just beyond any form of description at all.
okay, then there's IOC. enough said.
life. sigh, life.
that geog IA is honestly ______. it's turning into such a farce, i'm becoming numb to all the repeated reminders to submit. EE too. blah. and there's just so many irritating details required to take note of when trying to do up my CAS file.
oh. and then there's the small issue of results. hah, i'm sorry, i really don't know what to say or make of it really. i'm not even gonna bother to sound angry or sad or emo or anything 'cuz it's just beyond any form of description at all.
okay, then there's IOC. enough said.
life. sigh, life.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
recently, i've been noticing a sudden huge surge of interest in anything to do with our dear friend michael jackson. michael jackson craze is seriously present big time everywhere. all the shops are playing his music, news of him is everywhere in the papers, in the news, on the internet...my friends are watching his videos on youtube and falling madly in love with him...
i think it's just so sad that it had to take his death for people to finally realize what they had not treasured all this while. friends are watching his interviews and telling me "ohh so sad, his life was so pitiful.." and so on. oh wellsz.
anyway...enjoy!
i think it's just so sad that it had to take his death for people to finally realize what they had not treasured all this while. friends are watching his interviews and telling me "ohh so sad, his life was so pitiful.." and so on. oh wellsz.
anyway...enjoy!
Monday, July 13, 2009
the other day, i saw a random moth resting on a ledge in my doorway. and i wanted to get rid of it, 'cuz i was about to sleep and i didn't want it flying around in the dark and possibly brushing me in the process. insects are urghh :/
so i was brainstorming all the possible ways of getting rid of it. after consideration, i decided to use my super duper power fan. that fan is insane i tell you. it's so powerful i don't like using it. it blows my papers all over and makes it hard to get anything done. it's one of those stand fans that lets you select levels one to three, and even level one is ridiculously powerful. i thought, that's certainly gonna get that moth moving in a hurry. so i took out that behemoth of a fan, set it at the highest fan speed possible (which is probably comparable to a mini hurricane), and blasted it straight at the revolting thing.
the wings and feelers and everything started flapping furiously in all directions like crazy...but the retarded moth clung on. i was like, what the! its wings were flapping around like the flag you see high in the sky at the national day parade, and still, it clung on to the ledge.
determined to remove its wretched presence, i carried the fan and brought it even closer to the thing. the gust was blasting straight at the moth, its wings looked as if they were about to fall off any moment, its feelers were vibrating more than a, well a whateverrrrr... and still, it clung on for dear life, refusing to budge. i'm standing there scratching my head and thinking what the pong is wrong with this idiot of a moth. instead of using all its energy to stubbornly cling on to that miserable ledge, why doesn't it just fly away and go somewhere else where it can rest properly, instead of fighting against some evil force trying desperate to blow it off the face of the earth! leave me alone mann!
in the end, i gave up. a measly miserable moth triumphed over me and my hurricane of a fan. lol -.-
so i was brainstorming all the possible ways of getting rid of it. after consideration, i decided to use my super duper power fan. that fan is insane i tell you. it's so powerful i don't like using it. it blows my papers all over and makes it hard to get anything done. it's one of those stand fans that lets you select levels one to three, and even level one is ridiculously powerful. i thought, that's certainly gonna get that moth moving in a hurry. so i took out that behemoth of a fan, set it at the highest fan speed possible (which is probably comparable to a mini hurricane), and blasted it straight at the revolting thing.
the wings and feelers and everything started flapping furiously in all directions like crazy...but the retarded moth clung on. i was like, what the! its wings were flapping around like the flag you see high in the sky at the national day parade, and still, it clung on to the ledge.
determined to remove its wretched presence, i carried the fan and brought it even closer to the thing. the gust was blasting straight at the moth, its wings looked as if they were about to fall off any moment, its feelers were vibrating more than a, well a whateverrrrr... and still, it clung on for dear life, refusing to budge. i'm standing there scratching my head and thinking what the pong is wrong with this idiot of a moth. instead of using all its energy to stubbornly cling on to that miserable ledge, why doesn't it just fly away and go somewhere else where it can rest properly, instead of fighting against some evil force trying desperate to blow it off the face of the earth! leave me alone mann!
in the end, i gave up. a measly miserable moth triumphed over me and my hurricane of a fan. lol -.-
Saturday, June 27, 2009
A tribute to Michael Joseph Jackson
Dearest Michael,
Even as I sit here typing these painful words, I struggle to come to terms with your untimely passing. My heart aches with a longing for your continued presence with us. It is so difficult to come to terms with and accept your all-too-sudden departure.
I fondly recall the early days when I first came to know about you and the unrivalled genius you were. I was captivated by your scintillating beats, grooves and vibes. You stole my heart and from then on, I inevitably took a great interest in not just your peerless music, but also your life which continues to fascinate me to this very day.
And what a life you lived!
I recall reading about your history, and watching documentary after documentary about your life in general, from your tender years as an indispensible part of the Jackson 5, right through to your later days as the despicable media increasingly criticized and hounded you for every single act and word they deemed inappropriate, with barely a thought for your emotions and well-being. I recall with a burning anger and sorrowful pain, how almost the entire world turned against you in your time of need throughout the numerous baseless and unfounded accusations aimed coldly and hatefully at you. I remember doing my part in defending you from my schoolmates and others who blindly joined the increasing chorus of protests against your every word and action. Thankfully, justice prevailed and you triumphed over the evil forces of lies and deception aimed solely at bringing you down from your rightful lofty perch at the pinnacle of the entertainment world. I recall the level of vindication I felt upon hearing that your good name had finally been cleared.
As the years floated by, I grew more and more fascinated with your lifestyle. Even as the vast majority criticized you for your fantasy-like ranch, activities and behaviour, I was enchanted by your zoo, your amusement park and certainly, your charity, which reached out to so many organizations and people. I greatly longed for a chance to meet you in person, though that will now forever remain an unfulfilled dream.
It is such a pity that the world will not get to witness the 50 great performances you had planned for us. You had been working so long and hard on putting on a terrific show for us, and ought to have the opportunity to do what you love doing and show us again just what you are capable of.
Dear Friend, even as your life on this earth comes to a premature end, rest assured that your music and influence will live on in the hearts, minds and souls of many. You will remain a major source of inspiration to the many aspiring performers out there, struggling to make even a fraction of the impact you made on the world. Having toiled away at your magical music, and fought many hard battles, may you now find true rest in a better place. As the final curtain falls on one of the greatest shows of all time, allow us to give you the loudest and longest standing ovation anyone has ever received and will ever receive.
With an unbridled love and a heavy heart,
Gareth.
Even as I sit here typing these painful words, I struggle to come to terms with your untimely passing. My heart aches with a longing for your continued presence with us. It is so difficult to come to terms with and accept your all-too-sudden departure.
I fondly recall the early days when I first came to know about you and the unrivalled genius you were. I was captivated by your scintillating beats, grooves and vibes. You stole my heart and from then on, I inevitably took a great interest in not just your peerless music, but also your life which continues to fascinate me to this very day.
And what a life you lived!
I recall reading about your history, and watching documentary after documentary about your life in general, from your tender years as an indispensible part of the Jackson 5, right through to your later days as the despicable media increasingly criticized and hounded you for every single act and word they deemed inappropriate, with barely a thought for your emotions and well-being. I recall with a burning anger and sorrowful pain, how almost the entire world turned against you in your time of need throughout the numerous baseless and unfounded accusations aimed coldly and hatefully at you. I remember doing my part in defending you from my schoolmates and others who blindly joined the increasing chorus of protests against your every word and action. Thankfully, justice prevailed and you triumphed over the evil forces of lies and deception aimed solely at bringing you down from your rightful lofty perch at the pinnacle of the entertainment world. I recall the level of vindication I felt upon hearing that your good name had finally been cleared.
As the years floated by, I grew more and more fascinated with your lifestyle. Even as the vast majority criticized you for your fantasy-like ranch, activities and behaviour, I was enchanted by your zoo, your amusement park and certainly, your charity, which reached out to so many organizations and people. I greatly longed for a chance to meet you in person, though that will now forever remain an unfulfilled dream.
It is such a pity that the world will not get to witness the 50 great performances you had planned for us. You had been working so long and hard on putting on a terrific show for us, and ought to have the opportunity to do what you love doing and show us again just what you are capable of.
Dear Friend, even as your life on this earth comes to a premature end, rest assured that your music and influence will live on in the hearts, minds and souls of many. You will remain a major source of inspiration to the many aspiring performers out there, struggling to make even a fraction of the impact you made on the world. Having toiled away at your magical music, and fought many hard battles, may you now find true rest in a better place. As the final curtain falls on one of the greatest shows of all time, allow us to give you the loudest and longest standing ovation anyone has ever received and will ever receive.
With an unbridled love and a heavy heart,
Gareth.
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