looking back at the year 2010, there really doesn't seem to have been much of note for me. inevitably, much of the year revolved around, the SAF. yes, OUR ARMY. lol.
well, i must put on record that despite all the miseries and irritance and annoyance and plain angst and frustration this NS experience has hurled at me so far, it certainly hasn't been a thorough dread throughout. naturally, some of the activities and exercises i've had the chance to participate in have been real eye-openers for me, with certain aspects interesting to a certain extent. perhaps exercise wallaby would be a good representative of these "better" moments i've had in the saf. "better" and "more enjoyable" in the context of NS, but not things i would make a career of. not stuff i would sell my soul to.
certainly amongst the multitude of new faces i've come into contact with this year, a fair number of relationships have developed into what i would consider friendships. however, i guess only time will reveal the true quality of these new relationships forged. i fondly recall the days of my course at STC, when i would at times (somewhat) look forward to booking in, eagerly anticipating the camaraderie and fellowship with some of the people there. however, i now barely keep in contact with any of them. with the course over, there leaves barely any reason or motivation to contact them. it sure would be good if some of these NS relationships blossom and develop into something deeper and long-lasting.
NS aside, i'm thankful for the people who have stuck around by my side and continued to provide support and company, at times when i need it. it's comforting to know that there are these people i can count on to understand me and my concerns, and that they provide familiar comforts and reliefs from the various things that stress me and get me down. cheers to many more such years!
people aside, 2010 also took me on an emotional roller coaster. (although this is becoming an annoyingly cheesy way of describing things!) to keep things short, the whole process of receiving my IB results, getting stunned by them, stressing over uni apps, applying to the unis, getting rejected by them, busy crafting my heartfelt appeals when everyone else is busy celebrating their overseas scholarships...all the way to finally snaring a place has been nothing short of draining, both physically and emotionally. but at the end of the day, when i put things into perspective, i'm very thankful for being able to successfully complete a pre-university education in a brand-name institution, and go on to pursue a university education, in a desired course no less.
when people size up the year ahead, they tend to say things like, "oh, 2011 promises to be challenging, it will be interesting and i will pursue my goals with enthusiasm and vigour..." and so on and so forth, all expressing a renewed sense of purpose in life. however, personally, i honestly do not forsee anything interesting or exciting in store for me in the year ahead, and there's nothing in particular i look forward to or eagerly anticipate. to put it ultra-depressingly and bleakly, no goals, no purpose in life. but that sounds suicidal. and i'm not really feeling depressed or suicidal, just y'know, feeling the bore of mundane life. hopefully, things will change. i think i need some sort of change, something to shake things up a little. we'll see.
anyways, gtg soon. hope anyone seeing this is feeling more purposeful and driven than i am, and have a great 2011!
